Sharon Nicholson Counselling

We all grieve in our own way

Our experience of grief will never be wrong.

Our grief will be unique to us.

Grief can be messy, chaotic, unpredictable, and is certainly not a linear process.

We may end up feeling a sense of shame and experience anxiety and depression if we do not find a way to allow ourselves to grieve for our loss.

Grief can feel many things

Sadness is an emotion that is universally linked to grief, but grief can feel many things that we can be unprepared for, including paralysing, isolating and frightening.

Grief can feel confusing, traumatic, exhausting, physically painful, and we may become forgetful and struggle to concentrate on even the smallest of tasks.

We may feel irritable and angry at times, with others, ourselves and the person who has died.

We may feel guilty for having these feelings, especially if we feel that our grief is not allowed somehow - that it is not recognised or socially acceptable in some way.

Disorientation

We often experience shock in the initial stages of grief, even if we knew the person was going to die.

We may feel guilty if we are not tearful and feeling the pain, but this can be a completely natural part of our process.

We may feel relieved that someone has been released from their suffering, and then feel guilty for feeling this way. We are allowed to feel this, it is actually love and compassion.

We can also experience anticipatory grief in the lead up to a loss.

Our beliefs, how our loved one died, our relationship to them, and with them, all inform our process of grief.

Some sense of relief

Go gently with yourself

Grief changes us - All of our experiences change us, and they are supposed to...but they do not define us.

Go gently with yourself. We can only ever cope in the way that we know how.

Someone to hear us

When we are able to talk about the person who has died, experience being deeply listened to, and have our own grief witnessed, we can find a way of allowing the sometimes polar opposite places to coexist inside of us, and ultimately gain some sense of comfort and relief from our pain.

Do not struggle alone

If you, or someone you love are bereaved and are struggling in any way, you are very welcome to contact me for support.

References:

'Grief Works' by Julia Samuel

Cruse Bereavement Care