NO LONGER A GHOST IN YOUR OWN LIFE®️
Narcissistic abuse is trauma. Left unhealed, trauma remains stuck in our bodies, dysregulating our nervous system and potentially impacting all areas of our lives, from our personal relationships, friendships and parenting to our professional lives and careers, even many years down the line.
You deserve to heal
As a survivor of narcissistic abuse myself, this recovery work really does hold a special place in my heart.
I am a certified Narcissistic Abuse Specialist™️ and Narcissist Trauma Recovery Coach, as well as being certified in working with Post Traumatic Stress and Complex Trauma as an Accredited therapist.
You deserve to heal and have the chance of living your best life.
Soul crushing experience
The emotional manipulation, gaslighting and coercive control we can suffer within this kind of abuse can also result in physical, financial, sexual and spiritual abuse ~ it can be a very confusing and soul crushing experience and we can end up feeling like a ghost in our own life...that is certainly how I felt.
If you feel like a shadow of your former self, unsure of how to move forward in your life, please take heart, you can heal from narcissistic abuse, reconnect to who you truly are, and live a happy and fulfilling life.
Narcissistic Traits
Narcissistic abuse is a pattern of abuse perpetrated by people who have either high narcissistic traits, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
We can experience narcissistic abuse within an intimate or familial relationship, a friendship, in the workplace...in fact, within any kind of relationship.
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT
You are NOT responsible for what has happened to you.
Your kind, empathic nature will have been taken advantage of, and you likely have a pattern of putting everyone else's needs above your own.
This can be difficult to hold on to, but please remember, the abuse you suffered was never your fault.
Narcissistic abuse is complex, and our healing can only truly begin once we are out of that abusive environment.
There is no shame in being stuck in a trauma bond - a powerful neurochemical dependency to the cycle of abuse, more than just an emotional attachment.
There is a real withdrawal experience when leaving an abusive relationship.
Add in the cognitive dissonance, a confusing and familiar place for us to be as a result of the gaslighting and coercive control we have experienced, and it can all be very disorienting.
When we take a holistic, body-mind approach, healing from this trauma really is possible.
COMPLEX PTSD
We are extremely likely to experience Complex trauma after being subjected to this kind of sustained abuse, in fact I haven't yet met someone who didn't have at least some, if not all of these symptoms, myself included before my own healing:
- Feelings of worthlessness, guilt and shame
- Feelings of being a failure and that you should have done things differently
- Feelings of emptiness or hopelessness
- Intense feelings of anger, fear, sadness or despair
- Difficulty regulating your emotions
- Difficulty trusting others and avoidance of friendships and relationships
- Feelings of being different to other people, that nobody can understand what happened to you
- Memory difficulties - dissociation experiences can leave experiences feeling scattered or disjointed
Healing will mean different things to different people, but time alone will not give us the nervous system level of recovery that we will need.
Being intentional with your healing and accessing body-mind therapies, like Brainspotting, will allow you to deeply process and release trauma, and ultimately step back into your power...it may not feel like it right now, but it really is possible.
RECOVER, HEAL, THRIVE
Please hear me when I tell you that you are not going mad, despite what you may have been told by the person who abused you.
- Recovery is possible
- Healing is possible
- Thriving after trauma is possible
I am living proof of this and I am here for you when you feel ready to take the next step towards reclaiming your true self.
Featured Story
*Charlotte's Story ~ Healing From Narcissistic Abuse
Before...
Charlotte fell in love with a person who used to treat her well, although looking back she was no longer sure that he had, even then.
After years of subsequent subtle manipulation from this very same person, she no longer knew who he was, or who she was, even though the relationship had been over for some time.
Her mind felt foggy and confused and her body carried the weight of it all - constant fatigue, a tightness in her chest, and a stomach that churned at the slightest sign of potential conflict.
She found herself constantly apologising to people, even though she had done nothing wrong.
Sometimes she just felt numb, empty, as if she didn't even have a body - like a ghost in her own life.
She felt haunted as her ex was always in her mind in some way, every single day. She often felt sorry for him, worried about him, even though he had treated her so badly.
She felt powerless, like she was still walking on eggshells, even though he was no longer around.
She never really knew if or when he would contact her again and this kept her feeling on high alert.
She was a kind, intuitive, empathic person and she struggled with feelings of guilt, shame and self-criticism, blaming herself for not having done things differently, for not having seen signs sooner...and for ignoring the ones she had noticed.
She struggled with inner conflicts, knowing at times that she had done nothing wrong, and that she deserved better, but also feeling the complete opposite.
A real head versus heart kind of a split.
She felt isolated and lonely, those who were around her didn't really understand why she still felt as she did, why she couldn't just put it all behind her and move on?
She felt the same, why couldn't she?
They, and she, didn't realise that narcissistic abuse is trauma.
On the outside her life looked just fine, she had become very good at hiding how things really were for her, high achieving in school and in her career, but on the inside Charlotte felt small, sad and lost...a shadow of her former self.
Those who were observant would notice that her smile never reached her eyes.
She felt broken.
She found connecting with others really difficult as she didn't feel that she had anything interesting or positive to share...she wasn't even sure what she was interested in anymore.
After...
Charlotte's journey towards healing had seemed practically impossible to her at one point, but through learning more about narcissistic abuse and experiencing body-mind sessions, including powerful Brainspotting sessions, she was finally able to break the trauma bond and gradually find her way back to her true self.
She was able to recognise that she was wounded, not broken.
She was able to process and release tension in her body, regaining energy and her self-worth.
She allowed herself to grieve.
She could see how she had ended up in such a relationship, and she could recognise that it was not her fault. This was a useful tool for her when considering the possibility of future relationships.
With her mind and body now aligned after experiencing much gaslighting, Charlotte emerged stronger and determined.
After appeasing and pleasing others, she no longer felt shame around this survival response.
She had regained her fight, in a healthy, self-respecting way, implementing boundaries to protect her energy and her needs.
She was championing herself, and whilst those limiting beliefs would arise every now and then, as they do for all of us, Charlotte was able to finally trust herself again.
*Disclaimer: We are all unique, with unique backgrounds and experiences. Everyone's experience of therapy and coaching will be different and results will vary. These stories are anonymised representations, illustrating the real challenges many of my clients face, and the transformation that deeper therapeutic approaches can offer.
Confidentiality has not been breached in sharing these stories with you.