Reclaiming You Intensive - Narcissistic abuse recovery

You didn't lose yourself.

You adapted to survive something that asked too much of you.

Perhaps it was a relationship where you learned to walk on eggshells, question your own perceptions, manage someone else's emotions, or make yourself smaller to keep the peace.

Perhaps you are recovering from narcissistic abuse, emotional manipulation, a trauma bond, or a relationship that slowly changed how you saw yourself.

Or perhaps the experience was earlier in life - a parent or family relationship that taught you that your needs came second, that keeping the peace was safer, or that being loved meant adapting to someone else.

Whatever shape it took, you may simply know that somewhere along the way, you became someone quieter than you used to be.

You don't need a diagnosis or a label. You don't need to prove that what happened was "bad enough".

You only need the sense that something in you has gone quiet - and that you're ready to find your way back to yourself.

Trauma isn't only what happened to you. It's what your body had to do to survive it.

When you've spent a long time adapting to another person's behaviour, your responses can become automatic: second-guessing yourself, staying alert to changes in mood, putting other people's needs first, apologising when you haven't done anything wrong, or feeling responsible for keeping the relationship ok.

Even when you understand what's happening, those patterns can remain.

You may know intellectually that you are allowed to have boundaries. You may know you don't need to keep everyone happy. You may know the relationship wasn't healthy.

And still, part of you feels pulled back.

This is particularly common when narcissistic abuse has created a trauma bond - when knowing a relationship isn't good for you doesn't necessarily make it feel easy to leave, detach or let go.

For some, the loss isn't only the relationship itself. It's the loss of confidence, identity, trust in their own judgement, or the version of themselves they remember being.

You may find yourself:

• second-guessing your decisions

• walking on eggshells in relationships

• struggling to trust yourself

• feeling responsible for other people's emotions

• apologising for things that aren't yours to carry

• putting everyone else's needs before your own

• questioning whether what happened was really "that bad"

• feeling pulled towards someone you know isn't good for you

• carrying grief for the person, relationship or future you thought you had

• feeling anxious, hypervigilant or emotionally exhausted

• understanding the patterns but still feeling trapped by them

Insight matters, but knowing why you do something doesn't always change what your body has learned to do.

This intensive creates sustained space for deeper therapeutic processing and integration.

If weekdays are difficult to fit around work, family or other commitments, your intensive can be arranged over a weekend. 

Limited weekend dates are available each month; please enquire for current availability.

For a few hours over a few days, you don't have to be the one holding everything together.

You don't have to fit your healing around everyone else's needs.

You can understand why you people-please, why you doubt yourself, or why you keep shrinking in relationships - and still find yourself doing the same thing when you're under pressure.

That's because understanding isn't always enough to change what your nervous system has learned through experience.

Brainspotting is a gentle trauma therapy that works with the deeper emotional and physical responses that can remain after experiences that have overwhelmed your ability to process them at the time.

It uses a fixed eye position alongside your awareness of what you are experiencing, allowing the work to move beyond talking and analysis.

Many people describe a gradual shift in how they respond as this work unfolds - less intensity around old triggers, greater access to themselves, and a growing sense that the past doesn't have quite the same hold on the present.

Every person's process is different, and no particular outcome can be guaranteed.

Brainspotting was developed by Dr David Grand from his work with EMDR. I trained with Dr Grand, the therapy's founder, and Dr Mark Grixti, Head of Brainspotting UK, alongside further specialist training in Complex Trauma, Levels 1 & 2 (CCTP/CCTP-II), with Janina Fisher, PhD, and Narcissistic Abuse Specialist™ training with Caroline Strawson, The School of Embodied Trauma Informed Living.

You don't have to work any of this out alone before you reach out. 

1. Free 20-minute clarity call

A short, informal conversation to explore what's bringing you here, answer any initial questions, and see whether working together feels like the right fit.

2. 90-minute initial consultation - £180

Everyone starts here, whether you are considering an intensive or ongoing therapy. This is a therapeutic session. We'll explore your history, what's happening for you now, what you'd like support with, and what approach is likely to be most helpful.

If an intensive feels appropriate, we'll use this session to plan it together. If ongoing therapy feels like the better fit, we can discuss that instead. 

There is no obligation to book an intensive, or to continue beyond the consultation.

3. Your intensive

If an intensive feels appropriate, we arrange two or three consecutive days of three-hour sessions. 

The work is bespoke to you. There is no set programme to work through and no expectation that you arrive knowing exactly what needs to be processed.

4. Integration

A 90-minute follow-up session takes place 7–14 days later, giving us space to reflect on what has shifted and support the integration of the work.

Your intensive takes place entirely online, from wherever feels right.

Some clients create a quiet sanctuary at home. Others take themselves away to a hotel or similar for a couple of days, allowing themselves to step outside their usual responsibilities while they focus on the work.

Each intensive typically includes:

• Three-hour Brainspotting sessions with bilateral music, where appropriate

• Parts-informed work, recognising the different parts of you carrying this experience

• Nervous system regulation and grounding throughout

• Space to work with what emerges rather than following a fixed programme

• A 90-minute follow-up integration session 7–14 days later

Each intensive is carefully tailored and paced around you.

Narcissistic abuse recovery, trauma bonds and reclaiming yourself

This intensive may be particularly relevant if you:

• no longer recognise yourself

• struggle to trust your own judgement

• feel caught in a trauma bond

• keep returning emotionally to someone who hurt you

• feel guilty whenever you choose yourself

• have spent years adapting to keep a relationship working

• have lost touch with your needs, wants or identity

• understand what happened but still don't feel free from it

• want to stop surviving and start living more fully

You may recognise yourself in some of these, all of them, or none of them.

You don't need certainty. You only need the sense that something is ready to change.

The integration session, 7–14 days later, is where we look at what's shifted and what's still settling.

Some feel the intensive has given them the space and support they needed at that point.

Others choose to continue with ongoing 90-minute sessions, building on what the intensive began.

There's no expectation either way.